A Dad, a Daughter, a Dog, and A - DHD
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Hey guys, Peter Shankman the host of Faster Than Normal. I wanna talk for a second about the Skylight Calendar, the wonderful sponsors of this episode and one of the things that keeps myself and my daughter on track. Skylight sits on your wall and tells you what you have to do today; what chores your child has to do today. It’s basically a family calendar all-in-one. You can color code. It is amazing for people with ADHD. I am truly in love with this thing. We look at it every single day. It tells us the weather. It tells us what’s on our calendar. It tells us what chores are left to do. Oh, time to feed the dog! – Mark it off on the calendar. My daughter can check the box when she’s done and the chore disappears. It is one of the best things we’ve ever had. You can get yours with a discount using code: PeterShankman for 10% off, up to 30 bucks off. You’re gonna love this Skylight calendar. And you are gonna love.. I mean, truly it is amazing for people with ADHD or basically anyone who wants to keep track of their schedule. It sits on the wall, added bonus. You can throw your own photos onto it as a screen saver- on your wall! So now your wall has pictures. That’s cool. Check it out. I’ll put the link in the show notes. https://www.skylightframe.com code: PeterShankman
00:40 – Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing!
01:38 – Say hello to my daughter Jessa Shankman!
02:17 – How old are you and what grade are you in?
02:22: So when you think of the letters ADHD, what do you think of?
02:43 – Do you get distracted sometimes? What do you do when you do- if you do, to re-center and focus?
03:30 – About daily routines
03:50 – What do you think about your Dad and ADHD?
05:00 – On getting distracted and realizing that you have become so. How do teachers help?
05:22 – What do you think kids can do to be more focused?
05:52 – When is a fidget spinner really helpful?
06:42 – Can a little water help you focus? If so, why do you think that is?
07:15 – What would you tell a kid who realizes that they are being distracted, doesn’t like school, and doesn’t know how to fix any of it?
08:09 – Ref: Amanda Steinberg’s interview sponsored by Bouncy Bands https://www.fasterthannormal.com/ftn-052-failing-doesnt-mean-youre-a-failure-with-guest-amanda-steinberg/
08:24 – On the importance of being comfortable and being able to employ a comfortable posture!
08:52 – Do you think that when you exercise it helps or hurts your focus?
09:10 – What about recess?
09:30 – Do you feel more focused if you having a good night of sleep?
10:01 – Anything else you wanna tell kids who might have ADHD, or might be distracted once in a while?
10:48 – Jessa and Peter’s big shout outs to Skylight calendar!
11:18 – The Boy with the Faster Brain is now out! https://amzn.to/3FcAKkI
11:40 – Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits. Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Faster Than Normal is for YOU! We want to know what you’d like to hear! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We’d love to learn about, and from them. I’m www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at [email protected] or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse!
[After this interview Peter’s dog, Waffle submitted a request to share more ‘screen time’ in future interviews. You can check-in on him here: @petersdogwaffle on INSTA
TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. mostly somewhat:
[00:00:40] Peter: Hey guys, Peter Shankman, host of Faster Than Normal. I wanna talk for a second about the Skylight Calendar, the wonderful sponsors of this episode, and one of the things that keeps myself and my daughter on track. Skylight sits on your wall and tells you what you have to do today, what chores your child has to do today. It’s basically a family calendar with all in one, you can color code. It is amazing for people with ADHD. I am truly in love with this thing. We look at it every single day. It tells us the weather. It tells us what’s on our calendar. It tells us what chores are left to do. Oh, time to feed the dog, mark it off on the calendar. My daughter can check the box when she’s done and the chore disappears. It is one of the best things we’ve ever had. You can get yours with a discount using code: PeterShankman for 10% off, up to 30 bucks off. You’re gonna love this Skylight calendar. And you are gonna love. I mean, truly it. It is amazing for people with ADHD or basically anyone who wants to keep track of their schedule. It sits on the wall. Added bonus. You can throw your own photos onto it as a screen saver on your wall. So now your wall has pictures. That’s cool. Check it out. I’ll put the link in the show notes. https://www.skylightframe.com code: PeterShankman
[00:01:37] Peter: Welcome to Faster Than Normal. My name is Peter Shankman. I am sitting here today on a one-on-one interview with one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met, and I guess I kind of have to say that cuz we’re talking to my daughter. We’re talking to Jessa Shankman. Say, hi, Jessa?
[00:01:54] Jessa: Hi, my name is Jess Shankman and I am the daughter of Peter Shankman.
[00:01:57] Peter: We are gonna talk today about, we’re gonna talk to my daughter about what it’s like to have a Dad with ADHD. And we’re sitting here, we’re joined by Waffle the dog. And we’ll take a picture and, and put it up as well of all three of us on all family on one couch. But we are talking today about what it’s like for a Dad and for a Daughter when a Dad has ADHD and how a daughter deals with it. So, Jessa how old are you?
[00:02:18] Jessa: Nine.
[00:02:19] Peter: Nine. What grade are you in?
[00:02:21] Jessa: I’m in fourth grade.
[00:02:22] Peter: Fourth grade. So when you think of the words ADHD and letters, adhd, what do you think of?
[00:02:27] Jessa: Well, when I think of adhd. I just think of like the letters and the word or, yeah, the letters. I think of like, like a, what do you call? Like a just random numbers, like math. I just think of like when I think of adhd, I think of people who get distracted.
[00:02:43] Peter: People get distracted. Okay. And do you get distracted sometimes?
[00:02:48] Jessa: Yes. A lot actually.
[00:02:49] Peter: A lot. And what do you do when you get distracted?
[00:02:51] Jessa: Well, sometimes when I get distracted, I. lose focus or I, like, I keep doing it, but then if I realize I’ve gotten distracted, like today I was just, uh, like fidgeting or singing or something and I wasn’t paying attention that I have to read my book. So then I was like, okay, yes, you have to read your book and be focused. So I just try to do that.
[00:03:15] Peter: And how do, what happens when you, when you do, do you do anything special to help you refocus? We talked about sometimes you do exercises or, um,
[00:03:24] Jessa: I don’t usually do exercises, but sometimes I just need to get my mind. So I take, I don’t usually take deep breaths, but I just try to get my mind in focus by using my mind.
[00:03:35] Peter: So breathing helps though, right? Sometimes taking deep breaths. Yeah. And sometimes when you’re a little too hyper or sometimes we’ll do exercises together. We’ll do like,
[00:03:42] Jessa: I was too hyper to read today,
[00:03:43] Peter: too hyper to read today, what didja do like a Peloton workout or something. Normally if you get a work workout in the morning, you’re pretty much focused all day.
[00:03:49] Jessa: Yeah.
[00:03:49] Peter: Yeah. But I mean it also happens cuz you know you’re also nine, so sometimes that happens. What do you think about when you think about your Dad and ADHD?
[00:03:57] Jessa: Sometimes when I like ask him to like read me this or do something, he doesn’t listen the first time and he sometimes gets distracted. But then if I say again, he’s like, sorry, what’d you say? And then he listens.
[00:04:14] Peter: So I think anyone can really have that. Anyone can get distracted. Right? So sometimes, but, but you also know that I do certain things to help you, control my ADHD like what? What do I do to control it? Like exercise and stuff like that? Exercise, yeah. I get on my bike every morning,
[00:04:27] Jessa: right? Get on the bike If I [unintelligible] every morning. Yeah.
[00:04:30] Peter: So I get on the bike and I do things so I’m able to focus better. But it’s not, do you, do you see, like, do you have friends who have a hard time concentrating too?
[00:04:39] Jessa: I don’t think so. Most kids are prob, most kids are, oh yeah. One friend is, uh, but I think some, some of my friends are, but then they get, um, like focused.
[00:04:54] Peter: I think a lot of times what happens, especially when you’re younger, is that you get distracted and you don’t realize you’re distracted. Right? So you’re like, oh, what? And then you were like, oh, wait a second. I wasn’t paying attention.
[00:05:02] Jessa: that’s what I do.
[00:05:03] Peter: Right. And that can be, that can get you in trouble sometimes. Like if a teacher’s saying something, you have to listen. Right?
[00:05:08] Jessa: Sometimes my teacher does point it out to me.
[00:05:10] Peter: So your teacher, when your teacher points out to you, what does he say?
[00:05:13] Jessa: He says, Jessica, Jessa.. Like, he just says that and he,
[00:05:18] Peter: so he just says your name and then you like it sort of snaps you back in.
[00:05:21] Jessa: Yeah.
[00:05:22] Peter: What do you think kids can do to be more focused?
[00:05:27] Jessa: Have a fidget maybe near them, but also be, that being said, a fidget is a fidget. It could be more distracting.
[00:05:35] Peter: Well, you’re sitting here right now, you’re playing with a little bit of slime, right? .
[00:05:38] Jessa: Yeah, but I’m focused.
[00:05:40] Peter: You’re focused because you’re giving your fingers something to do. Yeah. Right. So you’re playing with your slime and you’re rubbing it and like, so turning it into a ball, a ball or something like that.
[00:05:49] Jessa: Sometimes a fidget can be really helpful and sometimes it can be distracting.
[00:05:52] Peter: When is it really helpful?
[00:05:54] Jessa: Uh, helpful. Like when you’re, when you are kind of focused, but then like your hands are just like, Just like doing anything and you like, it’s just, I don’t really know how to say this, but sometimes when you’re distracted, if like you’re doing a math class or any class that you don’t love and you like get bored, you should get something in your hands. Or it could be like a marble or it could be a piece of slime, but like not, not something to really get you distracted, like something that you can make a whole town out of. like clay. You can’t have that. We You can’t. It’s a little something. Yeah. Just like a marble or like a, A magnet. Or a fidget spinner.
[00:06:34] Peter: That’s a really good suggestion. So the goal is like to keep yourself sort of a little bit occupied. Keep your hands busy.
[00:06:39] Jessa: Yeah. Keep your hands busy, but keep your focus on the teacher.
[00:06:42] Peter: Do you think that you get more or less distracted if you’ve drank some water? Less like you drink water and you get less distracted.
[00:06:49] Jessa: Sometimes I do that, like sometimes I’m like, okay, I gotta go and get my water bottle. And then I drink, like, um, I drink a little bit of it, and then I’m like, okay, sit back down and focus on the Math.
[00:07:00] Peter: So sometimes your distractions, your brain can be helped by water. Why do you think that is?
[00:07:06] Jessa: Maybe the water just gets you refreshed.
[00:07:08] Peter: Yeah.
[00:07:08] Jessa: And like,
[00:07:09] Peter: because your body may have like a lot of water. Yeah. The majority of your body is water, right? Yeah. What would you tell a kid who realizes that he or she is being distracted and doesn’t like in school and doesn’t know how to fix it?
[00:07:22] Jessa: I would tell them to, if you realize you’re getting distracted, then just notice it and try or drink a and drink water or just shake it up.[as Waffle laps at his water bowl in the background] Maybe like I would say raise your hand. Just go to the back of the room and maybe do like, maybe like I, you can’t do jumping jacks in the middle of a class. Maybe some squats. But I would say, yeah, not even, maybe just like, maybe just moving your feet or something. Maybe standing up. Yeah, just standing up. Cuz sometimes if you’re sitting down, you could easily be distracted. Just stand up and take a breath or take a break.
[00:07:58] Peter: I think there’s also, there’s um, you know, there’s a company we had on the podcast called Bouncy Bands, where they make little bands that go on the bottom of the chair and you can just move your feet to those. Oh, really? So yeah, those are like helpful too. But yeah, I think at the end of the day, movement just stand up movement. Really helpful. Right? Really? Yeah. Just it’s hard to sit down all day. Yeah. Back when, back when we were cavemen, we never sat down all day. If we sat down, we were sleeping. If we stood up, if we, if we weren’t sleeping, we were hunting stuff and getting food.
[00:08:24] Jessa: Yeah. Like also there’s like, I sit on something that does not support my back and that makes it even harder to really sit and my back sometimes during the day.
[00:08:35] Peter: What do you sit on that doesn’t Like a chair or just a bench?
[00:08:38] Jessa: You know, there’s a bench. Oh, they bench in school. Yeah. But then most of the time if I’m like, I wanna, I want like I need to stand up, I would do that and then I would grab a chair, which, you know, it’s better for me, like,
[00:08:51] Peter: yeah, definitely. Do you think that when you exercise it helps or hurts your focus? Helps.
[00:08:56] Jessa: Helps. I just say like move your feet. Like you can’t like, just like maybe like do, I don’t think you should do like jumping jacks or squats. No. That’s kinda tough in the middle of the class, but I think you should just like move your feet or move your arms.
[00:09:10] Peter: Like how do you feel after recess? Are you focused?
[00:09:12] Jessa: After recess, I am focused, but sometimes a little bit distracted. Recess gives you a time to run around, but some people don’t run around. But .Do you? I sometimes, yeah. I, I don’t love to run around that much. I don’t love the game tag or, but sometimes I just sit and like try to get myself ready for the next. Or for the class or just, you know.
[00:09:35] Peter: Do you feel more focused if you having a good night sleep?
[00:09:36] Jessa: I think so, yeah. Because sometimes I’m really tired in class and I’m like, I probably didn’t get a good night’s sleep. That explains, I went to bed at nine last night. Um, but I think sleep, I think you should really get a good night’s sleep for you to help. Cuz you could be really tired in class. Yeah. And that wouldn’t be good. You would fall, you would like almost fall asleep or you could just be like really tired that you would just fidget and just do this and you wouldn’t pay attention to anything.
[00:10:01] Peter: Anything else you wanna tell kids who might have ADHD or might be distracted once in a while.
[00:10:05] Jessa: I think just standing up, taking a break and then sitting back down, sitting in a comfy seat. You don’t wanna sit in like a bad seat where you can get really distracted easily. I think you should just sit in a chair and listen or try to listen. Just take a break if you feel distracted or something like that. And yeah, that’s it.
[00:10:28] Peter: Awesome. Guys. That was my daughter, Jessa Shankman, who is enough to come on the podcast today, interrupting her day of, she’s off this week, so interrupting her day of playing with slime and, and, and playing Roblox and, uh, talking to her friends. But really, really appreciate you taking the time, Jess. I love you very much.
[00:10:43] Jessa: Love you too.
[00:10:43] Peter: Okay, guys. You’ve been listening to Faster Than Normal, my name is Peter Shankman. As always, we are thrilled that you’re here. Big shout out again to Skylight Calendar. That frame, that calendar has saved my life countless times.
[00:10:53] Jessa: Can I tell them about it?
[00:10:53] Peter: Yeah, go ahead.
[00:10:54] Jessa: Skylight is really good cuz it helps me with my chores and like if I see like feed the dog, or clean up after breakfast, I can just tap it when it’s done. And it also has cool pictures. You can upload pictures on it.
[00:11:04] Peter: Yep. It is a very, very cool product. We both love it. Strongly recommended. Check the link out in the show notes, get a discount with the code. Peter Shankman. Guys, thank you so much for listening as always thanks to Steven Byrom, our wonderful executive editor and producer who creates amazing episodes for us every week. We will see you next week. We are thrilled that you are here. ADHD and all forms of neurodiversity are gifts, not curses. And by the way, if you haven’t picked up The Boy with the Faster Brain yet, it is on Amazon and it is a number one bestseller in all categories. So check it out, The Boy with the Faster Brain. It is a children’s book about neurodiversity.
Jessa: I love it.
Peter: Thank you, Jessa. Guys, thanks for listening and we’ll see you next week. Say bye, Jess.
[00:11:39] Jessa: Bye
[00:11:40] Peter: Bye guys!
Credits: You’ve been listening to the Faster Than Normal podcast. We’re available on iTunes, Stitcher and Google play and of course at www.FasterThanNormal.com I’m your host, Peter Shankman and you can find me at shankman.com and @petershankman on all of the socials. If you like what you’ve heard, why not head over to your favorite podcast platform of choice and leave us a review, come more people who leave positive reviews, the more the podcast has shown, and the more people we can help understand that ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Opening and closing themes were composed and produced by Steven Byrom who also produces this podcast, and the opening introduction was recorded by Bernie Wagenblast. Thank you so much for listening. We’ll see you next week!