How to Plant a Garden that Works for You w/ Coach Tony Taylor
Coach Tony has studied Psychology, Clinical Counseling, Ontology, Spirituality, is a certified Gallup Strengths Coach and has a Master’s in Business Administration. He owns several small businesses and is committed to making a difference in the lives of others. Coach Tony believes that transformation is available to anyone that is willing to put in the work. For more information on Coach Tony or to book an appointment or speaking engagement with him, please email him directly at: [email protected] or his website: www.CoachTony.life Today we’re talking about how to plant cabbage- if you happen to like cabbage, his ADHD, how and why he is a happy and successful coach who’s constantly helping others. Enjoy!
***CORONA VIRUS EDITION***
In this episode Peter & Coach Tony Taylor discuss:
1:05- Intro and welcome Coach Tony!
1:40- Tell us about how you got your start, why you love helping other people- what’s your story?
2:55- On how having a faster than normal brain helps, and how it can not help us if we don’t do the work.
4:20- On setting boundaries and sticking to a list/accountability ref: Meditation for Dummies
5:17- How do you meditate when the ADHD does’t shut off?
6:08- Does cardio still work for your ADHD brain? How does mental conditioning work for you?
8:08- On playing the tape forward/setting yourself up for success
8:28- What are some of the biggest challenges you’ve witnessed via coaching during COVID-19?
10:10- On helping to teach people the only thing we can control is how we’re responding to life
10:50- On the concept of “forward motion is thrilling”. Ref: Seth Godin interview on FTN
12:15- On making the best out of the cards your dealt
13:03- How do you align your thoughts with what you’re creating and doing in the world. Ref: Mind Your Garden: The seeds you plant today become the realities of tomorrow (Live YOUR life!)
14:14- If you don’t like cabbage, don’t plant cabbage!
13:30- Thank you Tony! And thank YOU for subscribing, reviewing and listening. Your reviews are working! Even if you’ve reviewed us before, would you please write even a short one for this episode? Each review that you post helps to ensure that word will continue to spread, and that we will all be able to reach & help more people! You can always reach me via [email protected] or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterThanNormal on all of the socials.
STAY HEALTHY – STAY SAFE – PLEASE WEAR YOUR MASK.. until next time!
16:07- Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits
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We have a new sister video cast called 20MinutesInLockdown! A video podcast devoted to learning fascinating lessons from interesting humans all around the world, all in 20 minutes or less! 20 Minutes in Lockdown was born in early April of 2020, when we were in fact, in lockdown, and couldn’t do much of anything. Realizing that more than ever, people could benefit from learning from people outside of their comfort zone – people with interesting stories to tell, people with good advice, people with useful ideas that could help improve lives, we started hosting short Facebook video interviews, and we grew from there. (Plus, you can actually see my hair colors change before your very eyes!) Check it out: www.20MinutesInLockdown.com
Hey guys, Peter, Shankman welcome to episode two, zero one, the 201st episode of Faster Than Normal. I’m thrilled to have you here. If you missed episode 200, go check it out. It taught me why we take risks, why I like jumping out of airplanes, and I pretty much knew why I do stupid things sometimes, and I bet you’re gonna fit right in and check it out.
Episode 201. I can’t believe we’re at 2-0-1! [editors note: technically this is episode 202, we don’t always air in-sequence]. Our guest today, Tony, you’re the first person in the, I guess the two’s, but isn’t 200. So welcome. Hey, thanks. I’m excited to be here. Got it. Coach Tony, just going by coach Tom coach. Tony has studied psychology clinical counseling, ontology spirituality. He’s a certified Gallop strength, strength coach, and has a master’s in business administration. You know, in several small businesses, he committed to making a difference in the lives of others. He believed the transformation is available. Anyone willing to put in the work, which when you’re ADHD, you don’t really have a choice. Welcome to the show. It’s good to have you tell us about you. How did you discover that you liked helping other people? How, tell us about your background. How did you start the whole story?
Well, you know, coming through, um, a background of adversity, um, single parents, Abandonment from my father, child abuse. I really learned that I had to fight for what I wanted in life. And. I also learned that a life of contribution is the only fulfillment that satisfies me. Um, I created businesses and made money and went after the material realm and it just was empty and meaningless. And when I started coaching and I focused on helping other people achieve the breakthrough of their glass ceiling and getting a life that they love. It became a life that I can’t retire from. You know, I say that when I started coaching, uh, six years ago that I officially retired from working because I worked seven days a week. Um, I have a lot of fun things going on and it’s all around being a contribution to peace. Awesome. Do you find, I find that that when I help, it just makes for better life. Everything just becomes better when you’re health. Well, and I mean, with the faster than normal brain taking the thoughts that I have and not giving them any energy, because I’m focusing on somebody else and what they’re up to. It’s relaxing.
So tell us about, about that. So you coach people. So, so as ADHD and, and, and yourself and the whole thing, and having the festival brain talk about sort of the top, let’s go with the top five things. And let’s let’s let’s let’s let’s look at it from a negative perspective. What are the top five things that people that ESG or neurodiversity continually do to themselves that hurts them, that prevents them from moving forward?
Well, I think, um, Addictive addictive behavior and certain addictions can get in the way. Um, I know I can find myself and have found myself in the past trapped in like a vicious circle of doing things that I know are good for me, but I need something to give that adrenaline or that boost to keep going. Um, you talk a lot about, uh, adrenaline junkie, right? Like I think that. Can be a negative, but also I think that is what empowered me to write, illustrate and publish a book in six months. So it’s honing in that energy to do what you’re up to instead of. I’m letting it get carried away and run yourself over. Um, yeah. Yeah. So I think that’s a big thing. Um, I need a lot of boundaries and a schedule to follow, um, and it’s not necessarily of listening to my faster than normal brain. It’s doing what’s on the list. No matter if I feel like doing it or not. Um, and being accountable to yourself and really holding yourself accountable to that schedule, um, has helped me out a ton. I have to get in cardio, um, because I have additional energy and if I don’t use it in that kind of realm, um, it will sneak up and get in my way of being productive. Um, I’m a huge fan of meditation. Um, Stephan BoDean has a book meditation for dummies. It’s just. It totally changed my world, um, to be able to take out 40 minutes of my day and be in silence and be able to sit literally in silence without getting run over by my thoughts.
How do you do that when your brain, when the ADHD brain doesn’t shut off?
Well, it, it doesn’t shut off, but instead of experiencing the thoughts and feeling them and wanting to be an action around them, I just sit and observe the thoughts. Um, meditation isn’t I think there’s a problem in our society that says, Oh yeah, meditate. And just sit down and shut your mind off. And it’s like, are you kidding me? Have you ever been inside my brain? They’re shutting this off, but there is an ability to rise above those thoughts and just observe them with no feeling, um, or compelling need to be an action around them. It’s just kind of like watching clouds go by. Um, instead of making it mean something, it’s just, it is what it is.
Interesting. I feel that. So talk, go back to cardio for a second. You know, I used to be this huge cardio junkie. Oh my God. Cardio credit cards. And I still am. I mean, I still get my pellets on every morning, but I’m finding more and more. So over the, during the, during the, um, the lockdown, you know, I couldn’t go to my gym. So I had my bike in my bedroom, but then I wanted to keep lifting. So I bought two 22 pound kettlebells and started just changing my life with them. And one of the things I’ve learned is that I think the closest to meditation I can get is when I say in a series of 20 reps of like shoulder presses, right. And by rep. 12 it’s starting to hurt. Right. And what I’ve found is if I just say to myself in my mind, it doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t hurt it. Opposite still hurts. But I came to get through the set with quote, unquote, less pain it’s burning. You know how, when you do a set and you’re just by 20, you’re like burning, it just hurts. No, and it still hurts, you know, without question, but I feel like. It’s the simple act of saying that the positive affirmation in my brain, this doesn’t hurt. You’re not in pain helps me go further. And I’ve never experienced that before. And I’m wondering if that is also somehow tied to the dopamine.
Absolutely. You know, I’m a, I’m a firm believer of what you think about you bring about, you’ve had the experience of getting on a treadmill or your Peloton in the morning being like, Oh, this is going to be an awful ride. Or this is going to be a tough run. My knees aren’t into it today, whatever we, you know, those thoughts that we have, the run’s going to reflect that, or the exercise is going to reflect that. But when you go in and say, you know, this doesn’t hurt. And this is, this is exactly what I’m committed to. This is going to feel great. I’m going to feel so good after this is done. The exercise reflects that as well. So it’s, it’s finding that zone, um, and aligning your thoughts with an action. That’s bigger than you. I find that that a lot of it, and I’ve mentioned this in the podcast, countless times, the concept of playing the tape forward, right? How am I going to feel something? If I don’t, if I don’t wake up right now and go to the gym or I don’t wake up and get on that bike, like I said, I was going to. What’s my day going to be like, and yeah, tonight and I come back to this bed, I’m going to be happy with that’s awesome. And it works. Yeah. And tell me about some of the biggest problems that you’re, that you see, um, from coaching, both from a, just in general perspective and from what we’ve experienced the past eight months of this year, Just don’t be a nightmare COVID, uh, situation.
Yeah. Well, like I said before, I’m a huge believer of what you think about you bring about. And when I looked around society, you know, six years ago and I was in a transitional spot in my life where I could either go full time coaching or maintain some media buying businesses that I did. I saw the world resigned and I saw the world stopped by their own fears and glass ceilings and, and coming from the diverse background that I came from, I know that it wasn’t easy and I know it took something, but I knew it was probably possible. And I just got called to talk to people and what’s possible for them in their lives. Um, and. With the COVID situation and the lockdown, like the first two weeks, I was like, Oh, this is, you know, this is just going to blow over. It’s going to be fine. Um, and after two weeks of me and my husband drinking, probably too much wine and staying up too late and getting out of our routines, it was like, okay, now what? I need to be an action around something. And. For people, I could feel their fear on the planet of like being in lockdown and not knowing what this virus was or what the future was gonna hold is what really inspired me to write my inner garden. Um, the seeds you plant today become the realities of tomorrow to put a little hope in the world in a time during perceived darkness. Um, I just. I think that for me, in my ADHD and faster than normal brain, I have to be an action. And this book a big part of it to help teach people that. Even no matter what’s going on in the, in the world, in the universe, the only thing we can control is how we’re responding to it and rise above the fear and stay in actions that you’re committed to, to achieving in the world, whether it’s a lockdown situation or not other ways, we spend too much time with our thoughts and it can be a downward spiral for everyone. If you don’t have a faster than normal brain, but especially with a faster than normal brain, it can get defeating.
Well, my mother used to always tell me that, um, when I was a kid that I don’t like it when the grass grows under my feet. Right. And then I came to realize what she meant was that was, um, The premise of, um, being, I, I don’t like not moving. I don’t like not being in motion. And then Seth Godin, when I had him on the podcast, he, he quoted the phrase board motion is thrilling. Yeah. All right. And for people like us, we need that. And so, you know, I mean, March 8th, I stepped off a plane at Newark airport, 1130 at night. And, um, if I’ve known those me last time, I’d be in plain for seven months now. I, I probably would’ve stayed a few more minutes getting my bags down and, um, You know, so I went from 250 miles an hour to zero overnight. That was just a bitch. And so I had to learn how to create forward motion while not necessarily doing. And that was, it was a tough lesson, but it’s benefited me in a lot of ways. I, you know, I’m up earlier now. I ever have been because doing the whole single dad, a homeschooling thing, the only time I really have to work out without being interrupted every 30 minutes was dad, how do I log out of this? How long did that. Is, you know, 4:00 AM 4:30 AM or whatever. And so if I still wanna be able to get work done and then be there for the daughter, it’s it’s even earlier. So, but, and so I’ve found ways to get that forward motion that it’s totally going on a plane or skydiving, whatever, which the things I missed. But I could still figure out ways of doing stuff well, and that’s just empowering and inspiring to hear, you know, it’s taking the, the cards in the hand that life deals you and making the best of it and figuring out, you know, okay, these aren’t the, the cards I would have chosen and how can I stay committed to what I’m committed to regardless.
I truly believe that. And I know the other thing is I think that what you said about not being able to control all you control is, is, is your reactions to things. I think that was a lesson when I learned that really changed my life. Like how do whatever. And so the question becomes, I think for a lot of people, what can they do too?
Implement that it’s one thing to say, Oh, I can only control it, but it’s another thing when, you know, someone’s slamming in your back. You know, I think that that if anyone’s gonna win the Nobel prize this year, it should be Biden for not, you know, not going off and punching Trump in the face when he mentioned this dead set. Right. How do you create ways of staying in your own space and staying calm and staying focused? What kind of tricks can you, can you tell the audience, you know, when, when shit does go south.
Yeah. So my book, Mind Your Garden is all about doing that. It’s aligning your thoughts with what you’re really committed to doing and creating in the world. And yes, we can get frustrated by ridiculous things that come out of people’s mouth and in. Yeah. I mean, it can enrage us with like, I hate you feelings, or we can elevate to a level of observing. Like I get that’s how I feel, but what am I really committed to? So for me in coach Tony, I’m committed to, co-creating a world that works. And what I see in the world that doesn’t work is this constant. Belittling and fighting and name calling and negative energy. All of that stuff that we’re seeing every day, isn’t working, what would work. And I believe if we could all level a little louder today and be the expressive people and connected people that we came here to be and help each other out. Instead of just looking out for ourselves, we can create a world that works. So it’s all about observing the thought. And before you react to that thought of, I want to punch you in the face, like, wait, does that align with what I’m creating in the world and what I’m up to? Yes. Okay. Go punch him in the face or know what would, and what could I, sir, there’s nothing ever missing in the universe. So if you read that at least you thought you have to replace the thought. And my book talks about just like a garden. If you grow cabbage and you hate cabbage. Don’t plant cabbage, plant broccoli, plant, whatever you want
Yeah. I totally agree with that statement. The concept, if you, if you don’t, you know, why would you waste time doing something you hate and yet millions of people still do that.
Yeah. And we’re kind of addicted to it. It we’re addicted to that kind of reaction in that ability to have revenge, but the only person we’re hurting is us. You know, Gandhi saying, be the change you want to see in the world. Right? Like there is something to that and if you want more love, be more love. Um, so yeah, a hundred percent. I love it.
Tell us how people can find you. Um, you know, I’m on the S all the socials coach, Tony Taylor, um, my website, www.coachtony.life Um, my new book, mind your garden is on Amazon and my website. And I’m here to inspire and help and do what I can to make this world work better than guys. The book is called mind your garden. I recommend checking it out. Tony, thank you so much for being on a normal day. I truly appreciate it. Absolutely.
Thanks for having me!
Guys, we’re back next week with a brand new episode; keep staying in touch, stay healthy, wear your mask, the pandemic’s not over, were your mask, just because we’re used to it doesn’t mean it’s over. Okay. And, um, be safe. We’ll talk to you guys soon. ADHD is a gift, not a curse. We’ll see you soon.
Credits: You’ve been listening to the Faster Than Normal podcast. We’re available on iTunes, Stitcher and Google play and of course at www.FasterThanNormal.com I’m your host, Peter Shankman and you can find me at petershankman.com and @petershankman on all of the socials. If you like what you’ve heard, why not head over to your favorite podcast platform of choice and leave us a review, come more people who leave positive reviews, the more the podcast has shown, and the more people we can help understand that ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Opening and closing themes were performed by Steven Byrom and the opening introduction was recorded by Bernie Wagenblast. Thank you so much for listening. We’ll see you next week.